See the introduction to this series here.
Citizens reported many strange doings in Atherton on July 23rd. Most of them were not actually strange, or even doings. Original blotter text in bold.
========================================================================== 08:35 08:35 ANIMAL CALL
Officer initiated activity at Middlefield Rd/Marsh Rd, Atherton.jso marsh loose dog in roadway. officers unable to catch loose dog. Disposition: Unable to locate.
Most of the time, the Atherton police come off very well in relation to their citizenry. Sometimes, however, they cannot catch a dog. I will give them the benefit of the doubt: perhaps it was a fast or tricky dog.
==========================================================================
09:32 09:32 THEFT OF RECYCLABLES
Officer initiated activity at Watkins Av/Burns Av, Atherton.Out with subj taking recycables. Disposition: Investigative.
The police have apparently, in this case, decided to be responsive to the demands of their citizenry about nefarious recyclables thieves (most of whom, you may recall, are also skillful cat burglars), and have begun serious investigations of this class of career criminal.
========================================================================== 11:01 11:01 SUSPICIOUS VEHICLE
Occurred at El Camino Real/Ashfield Rd. Rp came in station to report suscirc: Seen big bus on the back says “Help”, rp drove in the front to see front side says “Call police”. Last seen going northbound, bus is big and unk color per rp. Officer checked area, was UTL Disposition: Unable to locate.
“Officer! I have seen an uncommonly long motor-bus with a sign on the back calling for help! I believe someone has been kidnapped and is being held in the back of said motor-bus!”
“That’s terrible, we’ll go check it out!”
“And that’s not all, officer! I think someone is being held in the front of the motor-bus as well, as there is a sign on the front calling for police! And something is terribly wrong with the motor-bus itself: I cannot tell what color it is.”
Wow, that would have been about the most suspicious vehicle in the entire world! But the police were unable to locate the bus because no such bus ever existed.
========================================================================== 14:17 14:17 ANIMAL CALL
Occurred on Barry Ln. . Rp lost carmel colored Corgie “Clooney” Disposition: Assisted.
Aww. Clooney the Corgi. That is all.
. ========================================================================== 15:27 15:27 CONSTRUCTION SITE CHECKS
Occurred at Laurel School on Edge Rd. . Menlo Park resident advising construction trucks from the school drive on Bay road, and are over 3 tons. No rp info to callback. Disposition: No Merit.
“OFFICER! A series of TRUCKS have had the temerity to drive in front of my associate's house! No truck with such audacity could be under three tons. No, I won’t tell you my number! Instead of calling me back, go place them in gaol.”
========================================================================== 15:54 15:54 SUSPICIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES
Occurred on Selby Ln. . Came home front door wide open. Left for 2 hours, only one home. Officers checked inside of house and property. SMCSO had units in area to check the nearby school. All checked okay. Disposition: Checks Ok.
I wonder just why the front door was open? Could the caller have left it open himself? Nahh. Must have been an extremely sneaky burglar, or possibly child thief. You can tell how skillful he was by the fact that both the school and the house appeared clear on inspection.
========================================================================== 20:11 20:11 SUSPICIOUS VEHICLE
Occurred on Somerset Ln. . rp observed occ 11-54 ifo listed. whi chev van/box type/late 80′s/dual wheels in rear/subj: wma/late 20′s-early 30′s/6-0/170/red-brn hair/blu jeans/blk sweater/blk shoes/round rim glasses/subj watched rp pull into his driveway/subj left in veh approx 5 ago/unk dot Disposition: Gone On Arrival.
Another instance of the laudably cautious practice of calling the cops on people for pulling into your driveway. Well, you know, he was driving a van, and as we all know, vans are extremely low-class. And it was an old van! The caller was understandably scared.
Snerk.
Posted by: Felicity | 08/28/2010 at 04:08 PM